Progress @ 25

Today my lesser me got a hold of the stage,

And began to showcase

All the woes

That were felt

deep

down.

The performance was magnanimous,

A pantomime of heart-ache

With a showcase of events that had transpired,

Leading me to this point of dis-appoint-ment.

Twenty – five drummed as the backbeat of the show,

And I must confess I did not stop me,

From taking the limelight

And staging one heck of a performance!

After all, as I followed the steps of progression in life,

I felt that I was entitled to certain certainties,

As I left school with GCSE’s,

Moving on to the institution

that benchmarked the next stage of progress…

College - A Levels…

University – For a Degree…

School of Education - A PGCE…

I could not help but search worriedly for the next institution that would mark my progress.

Naturally I looked around me,
To my right, to my left...

And the status quo flagged marriage as the next step,

But wait,

The institution of marriage didn’t seem to be enrolling,

At least not for someone of my attributes,

Although knowing fully well the Wisdom in this,

Today I decided not to fight,

And decided to resign and cradle myself on my bedroom floor.

Herein I realised the next institution…

Myself

– Everything had led to this point; this was the ultimate institution –

Which was given the very loaded task of labelling my existence:

Valid and worthy,

Or

Invalid and unworthy –

Unfortunately,

The tools this particular institution would be measuring me against would be:

My hopes and wants,

All of which had been cut and pasted from a series of secular and non-secular places.

[Pause for dramatic effect]

In this way,

Myself told me I was failing,

And being who I am,

Not one likened to take failure as a friend,

I began half-heartedly putting up a fight.

As the deceit of myself continued for several more acts,

(Myself feigning to be the damsel in distress)

I began to realise,

As always,

In spite of the perceived failings,

And the obvious successes

The show must go on –

And so I took back the microphone

Turning myself off,

Yanking my nafs in its rightful place

- off stage

Chanting beautiful reminders,

From Prophets (upon whom all be peace)

Sabr an jameel

(Patience is beautiful)

And Forbearance is the key.

May Allah give us all the strength to not be overpowered by our deceitful nafs’ easily influenced by the was-wasaa of the accursed one.