Casette Player

Sometimes I catch myself spending time staring at time,
Wondering when these feelings will pass,
Yearning for those times settled in dust –
and now wiped away –
All because of the passing of time.

But when I go back,
Its not the same,
The yearning is still there –
And so like a cassette player being rewound and forwarded,
Sentimental attachment is given to the prior life,
Then the present life,
And then the prior life...

Neither are giving me the answer that I’m looking for –
What about my future?
The truth is,
This fear of the unknown has led me to give up on it.

So forgive me and my futile thoughts,
The truth is I don’t belong here,
Or there.

Today a one-eyed Egyptian old lady presented me with a marriage proposal,
In spite of clinging to our Mother tongues...
neither of us were lost in translation -

And so,
I will wait for the Future to translate itself,
To offer me Guidance,
Untainted with my own ignorance and expectations.

But with my sisters, for sure.

A future that promises a love and acceptance of everything,
Only for the sake of our Creator.
I will learn to trust better, I will get there. Insha’Allah.